moving

/ barnraised

barnraised is moving out of the barn.

This has been a hard post for me to write because so much of my blog “theme” is tied into this crazy barn where we live.

It is time for me to move on. Living in the barn, running this busy facility is taking a toll on me and my family.

Oh it has been the most wonderful adventure, fun times, good people and a learning immersion experience I couldn’t have had anywhere else. I feel like a changed person. A stronger person. A very much braver person.

And my body is tired, my mind is tired, I need sleep, my little girl sometimes just needs “all the people to go away”. I feel somewhat taken advantage of here, my kindness is walked over sometimes, it’s exhausting having to always “cowgirl up” and reinforce boundaries day in and day out. Over and over. Also, for an introvert, I have just had it with people at my front door -literally- sun-up to sundown. And a “boss” who won’t set any boundaries for the business that I run for him….for free mind you. Ok.

Of course, anyone whom has ever lived in their place of work can understand how that balance is difficult to maintain and how one can get stressed out. However, live in someone else’s business and it doubles that. It’s hard to be the one “in charge” here, but not the one to “call the shots”. It’s hard to see things I don’t agree with or feel good about taking place and not be able to right them or make change. It’s hard at the end of the day, or in the midst of chaos to see where the boundary lines are. And ultimately, I’m not that comfortable anymore.

And that is when one must know that it is time to move on. Or in this case, move out.

The decision has been a while in coming. Just wanted to make sure I gave it my all, tried to make it work and that if and when I pulled the plug I knew I was doing the 100% right thing.

So we’ve given our notice. We had a plan and a back-up plan but both those fell through. So we stayed on here a little bit longer than we probably should’ve. Thus, bringing us to the exciting decision to continue being barnraised…on our own terms.

We are under contract right now on our own facility. Let’s hope it all works out. It will be a smaller scale than what I’ve been managing here. Which is not a bad thing. And it will be on my terms. A beautiful, healing, friendly place that honors others and honors the horses that live and work for me. A place that holds respect and beauty. A place that is grateful for kindness and says no to dishonesty.

63 thoughts on “moving”

  4. This must have been a difficult decision, but it sounds like you’ve been moving toward it for some time . I think we know in our hearts when the time is right to make a change. Your current position was just a stop on your journey to your true destination. Your values are clear in this post, and based on what you’ve shared, you will create something worthwhile and beautiful. Best wishes on your next steps. Thinking of you! 🙂 xo

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    • Your comment really touched me. Thank you so much. I agree with what you say, honestly without this experience here, I would never have the knowledge, confidence and courage to branch out into running my own facility. It is exciting. I truly appreciate your words and thoughts!

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      • Sorry–I hit reply before I was ready! I was saying that it’s something how life works with its twists and turns. But, like you said–without this position you’re leaving, you may not have been ready for the experience you were truly meant to have. This decision sounds like something to celebrate! 🙂

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      • I think so too. Life is funny that way. I am so excited, there’s a little bit of grief in letting go of this place though too. That balance of loss and new things. It will be so much better doing it on my own terms though! Thank you.

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  5. I get this on so many levels! We just closed the door to our B and B (which is in our home) plus pulled the plug a while back on the antiquers who were renting our barn….they only had 3 or 4 shows a year, but spent the down time setting up for the next show, which meant people on the property almost daily..and often times into the night…no more. My wife is an introvert, I’m somewhere in the middle…but both of us are also on the far side of the “kindness” meter, which means we too get taken advantage of more than let’s say someone who is an Alpha 🙂 We also had a traveling musician live with us a year or so ago, started out for 3 months,. but she being the crafty person that she was, lived with us almost another 9 months…before we got her completely out… so both of us are “socialed” out (I know that’s not probably a word, but currently loving the place to ourselves again and the peace and quiet. I’m excited for you! Are you going to keep blogging? (I hope so) ..DM

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    • Didn’t realize you had a B and B. I totally hear you. I feel like I was definetly getting taken advantage of often. Yes, I can say no. Yes, I can reinforce my boundaries. But like I wrote in my post, it is hard and tiring to have to constantly be “on” like that. Have to constantly be “strong”. Have to worry about what other’s think. I have become more “alpha” through this experience, but “alpha” is definetly not who I am at my core. Sometimes I just want to relax and be me! I am absolutely “socialed” out. I love that word. I will keep blogging…it keeps me sane! Thanks so much for your comments. I think you are one that can really relate!

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  8. Hope you have a smooth move. It’s always good to change things up, get a different perspective. It’s seems so like so many people get stuck in a rut and don’t have the energy or the wherewithal to make changes. Good luck with everything!!!!!

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      • I wish I had the guts to do what you are doing!!! I have been watching this really interesting DVD about all the different cultures in the world – fascinating. Watched it with my oldest last night – and he said – Wouldn’t it be great just to sell everything and go to some of these places – leave everything behind and explore? I said, I would love to do that because I feel like we are in such a rut – you can set your clock by what we are doing during the day. It’s so ….unstimulating!

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  9. I hope that everything goes well with you!! I know that this has had to be a hard decision, but everyone needs to chill out and take their time. 🙂 You’re an amazing person and an amazing writer and you’ll do just fine. I’ll be praying for you as you transition!! God bless you!!

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  13. Congratulations! A big step, but one that sounds like is the right one for you. I was in a similar position many years ago, only for four months. I lived in Maryland, doing an internship, and was living with the family I was working for. They were workaholics and it didn’t matter the time of day, I had to be available for work. It was hard, and it was only four months. So I totally understand.

    Wishing you continued success on your journey. Can’t wait to see where it takes you 🙂

    xo

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  14. I’m sure you must be relieved to have come to your decision and excited for the next chapter, which sounds wonderful – Congratulations!. I’d love to hear more about your new place and your life there!

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  17. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries! I think this is the work so many of us have to learn, including myself. These decisions are so hard, but it sounds like you have made some peace with them. Transitions just always make me so topsy turvy! Ultimately they are good in the long run–we learn so much about ourselves. But they are still hard. I hope the best for you and your family!

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    • Yes, it was hard but absolutely the right thing to do. I have learned a lot about myself through all of this, and I feel even more confident now in who I am and what my values are. That’s how I always assess if I am on the right path. Thank you so much for your wishes!

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  18. Good luck to you, and I hope it works out! I am glad you may have an opportunity to have your own facility! I am looking forward to seeing where you will be next. Here’s to the journey!

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  20. All the responsibility and none of the authority: a recipe for burnout. It sounds like that’s where you are and you’ve recognized and addressed it. I’m really excited to hear more about your new place (when you are ready to tell us), and I think it will be wonderful! A healing place of hope and health and humor…

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  23. Oh how wonderful! It sounds equal parts exciting and petrifying which means it’s absolutely the right decision! Good luck both with moving home and setting up a new venture, I’m sure you will succeed!

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  25. Thank you for liking “Red Geraniums.” I am sorry to hear about your troubles in your current situation. I can understand your frustration of being in charge but not calling the shots. I hope your move will bring you great happiness and peace in the future. 🙂

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  27. So many of the leaps I’ve made in life were plain old HARD. I’d wander toward the decision I knew had to be made, but I couldn’t seem to make the change until some final push came along. Good luck with your new adventure…

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    • I’m usually pretty good at making decisions and/or change. This was harder, I guess because there was so much positive wrapped up with the negative. But ultimately the “final push” as you say came in a series of three or four events that brought me clarity. I appreciate your comment and thoughts!

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