I have to go back to “heart medicine”- a couple of posts back, around the holidays, I wrote a little bit about “heart medicine”. This past weekend I was just touched again by the same sentiment at another local Native American Festival, a contemporary Native American Arts Festival.
Different subject – we homeschool (as some of you might know)- my daughter is getting ready to turn 13. She’s entered adolescence. She’s lonely. It’s sometimes a lonely path- homeschooling. That doesn’t make it wrong, it just makes it different. I firmly believe homeschooling will produce an incredible amazing brilliant strong beautiful connected aware adult…. but in this moment, homeschooling an adolescent is hard. It will be fine I know, but I also know that right now it’s hard seeing her lonely.
Anyways, we saw this amazing Native American hip-hop singer dancer comedian Supaman who blew my mind in so many different ways. He was so inspirational and my daughter’s been quoting him all week. Her favorite quote being “go out and get it, don’t wait for it to come to you”. Keep in mind she’s a super shy, timid, quiet girl. She’s learned a lot and she’s grown a lot this week. She’s gone out and “got it” this week. She’s also suffered her first heartbreak and the death of her grandfather and in the midst of all of this I sometimes just don’t even know how to help her. I feel her pain as if it’s my own. I never understood that before. Her pain is my pain. Now I do. I love her so much. I cry for her, cry with her. I cry at night after she’s gone to sleep for myself. I cry to be a better mother, a good mother, a mother she needs. To keep her safe in my arms. I sometimes wonder why life has to be so damn hard. Damn hard. Then, I have to look hard for the good. “Supaman” called it Medicine.
Third thought; I have an alarm on my phone set to go off every day at 1:20. This is my gratitude alarm. When it goes off, I remind myself to take a soft breath, be in the moment and find something to be grateful for. I have found myself actually being grateful for many things. Despite present circumstances.
Conclusion: 😉 Healing. I read an article about how a parent needs to be the calm in the storm. The tree that bends, but never breaks. The roots that are so deep it just sways in the storm and holds on through the storm . Then provides the shelter after the storm. The tree that has seen so many storms pass through and stays steady.
One more thing, there’s a song by Peter Mayer called “Everything Is Holy Now”. If you haven’t heard it, I encourage you to search it and listen. I am realizing everything is indeed holy now.
And, then, I encourage myself (and you) to get up again tomorrow morning and keep on fighting the good fight.
Because everything is holy now. And the good in life is healing medicine.