this moment

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when the quiet comes

thanksgivingthe barn has been quiet these days. I don’t mean this literally. It is rare, a quiet barn. I mean, this site. I keep up with my weekly “moment” photos and have been enjoying them. But the cowgirl, she has been short on words.

I sit here in the quiet of Thanksgiving night. Everyone asleep, the horses all brought into their stalls, dinners all fed, the house eerily still after the bustle of the day, dishes done, silence falling all around, cold settling in already at 23 degrees and falling. The ups the downs, the laughters and the disappointments of the day all done. It is now that I find myself drawn once again to words. To writing. To the barn of the soul.

flowers

It is easy to find gratitude in many things, moments, thoughts, feelings. The softness of my daughter’s cheek. The full table of food. The lack of want. The freshness of air. The beauty of the world.

It is not always so easy to find it in the quiet solace of the open space at the end of the day when the world sleeps. It is there. These are the times, my friends. These are the times that many turn on the TV, turn up the news, turn up the outside world to blur the quiet, to fill the space. In this barn, there is none of that. It is quiet space. It is the sitting with oneself that leads to appreciation. Not the hyped up, overdone, media-induced, would’ve been, should’ve been, could’ve beens but the true and deep moments of gratitude. They are quiet. They are empty. They are calm. They don’t need filling. They are also accepting of life as it is. Even in the heavier moments. Life is not about ups and downs, highs and lows. It is the peace you struggle sometimes to find, and other times not, that sits with you every moment of everyday. The solace of the open space… of… each… moment…

solace

boots and flip flops

So, we were getting ready to go out for a dinner celebration tonight and my husband couldn’t find a certain pair of shoes he wanted to wear. Yes, sadly, in this family-the husband owns the most pairs of shoes. I was in the other room getting ready and heard this from my little cowgirl’s mouth:

“Really, if you’re a cowgirl all you need is boots and flip flops”.

Yes, my dear, it is that simple. That metaphor could translate into life, into simplicity, into living the life you were meant to live, into some really big philosophical post. And yet, after that big dinner, I just don’t have the energy. I think it stands very well on it’s own.

New boots 4

The horses gotta eat. Homeschool thoughts.

this moment multiplication

I have a friend who wants to homeschool, but is also scared of taking that step. I understand that. I have been there.

Atlas Educational writes about becoming the “guide” rather than the “teacher”. So many great ideas she has in that arena and her writing challenges us to start thinking about “schooling” differently in all facets. Every post she writes gets my wheels spinning and thinking. I love that blog.

When we first started to homeschool, I was nervous and insecure in some ways.

I clung to curriculum. Guides. Rythym. I read. I mean I READ devoured every homeschool, unschool, waldorf, everything-school book I could. I felt if I could gather as much knowledge as possible, we’d be ok.

Then, about a year in, I realized that we …were….ok. And I relaxed. I trusted. I started to break away from the curriculum, the PLAN.

We had fun.

horse multiplication 2

 

I saw my daughter learn. And I saw that she was self-driven.

I realized that I needed to be her GUIDE. Not necessarily her “teacher”. The role of teacher can be scary. The role of guide, not so much.

When I look back at our homeschooling, I see the times that I have LET GO and gone with where her passion, her interest, her drive takes her –those are the times.

The times, that she and I both feel inspired. And then the learning comes naturally. It can be scary. So in moments like that, I just breathe and then something happens… that reminds me that we’re okay and I’m guiding her in this beautiful life and she is excited to learn.

horse multiplication

Case in point, math scares me. But let’s be real, the horses gotta eat. We have to figure out how many bales of hay we need to order. And how much it will cost. My girl decided that she would pull out her toy horses. She woke up early one morning and took it upon herself to made little cut-out hay bales, put them all in a lovely pink feeding bucket…and we got to work. It ends up not being so scary afterall.

new homeschool