The horses gotta eat. Homeschool thoughts.

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this moment multiplication

I have a friend who wants to homeschool, but is also scared of taking that step. I understand that. I have been there.

Atlas Educational writes about becoming the “guide” rather than the “teacher”. So many great ideas she has in that arena and her writing challenges us to start thinking about “schooling” differently in all facets. Every post she writes gets my wheels spinning and thinking. I love that blog.

When we first started to homeschool, I was nervous and insecure in some ways.

I clung to curriculum. Guides. Rythym. I read. I mean I READ devoured every homeschool, unschool, waldorf, everything-school book I could. I felt if I could gather as much knowledge as possible, we’d be ok.

Then, about a year in, I realized that we …were….ok. And I relaxed. I trusted. I started to break away from the curriculum, the PLAN.

We had fun.

horse multiplication 2

 

I saw my daughter learn. And I saw that she was self-driven.

I realized that I needed to be her GUIDE. Not necessarily her “teacher”. The role of teacher can be scary. The role of guide, not so much.

When I look back at our homeschooling, I see the times that I have LET GO and gone with where her passion, her interest, her drive takes her –those are the times.

The times, that she and I both feel inspired. And then the learning comes naturally. It can be scary. So in moments like that, I just breathe and then something happens… that reminds me that we’re okay and I’m guiding her in this beautiful life and she is excited to learn.

horse multiplication

Case in point, math scares me. But let’s be real, the horses gotta eat. We have to figure out how many bales of hay we need to order. And how much it will cost. My girl decided that she would pull out her toy horses. She woke up early one morning and took it upon herself to made little cut-out hay bales, put them all in a lovely pink feeding bucket…and we got to work. It ends up not being so scary afterall.

new homeschool

FREEDOM AND REGULARITY

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Beautiful and thoughtful read…

Susan G.'s avatarThe Compassionate Equestrian

“In many shamanic societies, if you came to a medicine person complaining of being disheartened, dispirited, or depressed, they would ask one of four questions. When did you stop dancing? When did you stop singing? When did you stop being enchanted by stories? When did you stop finding comfort in the sweet territory of silence?” 

Gabrielle Roth (1941-2012, American dancer and musician.)

Have you ever experienced one of those days where it seems like everything you do is “wrong?”

Your e-mails are misconstrued. Your best friend says something hurtful. You receive a complaint from a customer or someone with whom you don’t even have contact. Your gaze begins to lower. Your stomach tightens. Your smile fades. You had no intention of being anything other than kind and compassionate with people, yet, outside forces seem to have conspired to make you define yourself as “wrong.” You start to question your abilities…

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moving

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barnraised is moving out of the barn.

This has been a hard post for me to write because so much of my blog “theme” is tied into this crazy barn where we live.

It is time for me to move on. Living in the barn, running this busy facility is taking a toll on me and my family.

Oh it has been the most wonderful adventure, fun times, good people and a learning immersion experience I couldn’t have had anywhere else. I feel like a changed person. A stronger person. A very much braver person.

And my body is tired, my mind is tired, I need sleep, my little girl sometimes just needs “all the people to go away”. I feel somewhat taken advantage of here, my kindness is walked over sometimes, it’s exhausting having to always “cowgirl up” and reinforce boundaries day in and day out. Over and over. Also, for an introvert, I have just had it with people at my front door -literally- sun-up to sundown. And a “boss” who won’t set any boundaries for the business that I run for him….for free mind you. Ok.

Of course, anyone whom has ever lived in their place of work can understand how that balance is difficult to maintain and how one can get stressed out. However, live in someone else’s business and it doubles that. It’s hard to be the one “in charge” here, but not the one to “call the shots”. It’s hard to see things I don’t agree with or feel good about taking place and not be able to right them or make change. It’s hard at the end of the day, or in the midst of chaos to see where the boundary lines are. And ultimately, I’m not that comfortable anymore.

And that is when one must know that it is time to move on. Or in this case, move out.

The decision has been a while in coming. Just wanted to make sure I gave it my all, tried to make it work and that if and when I pulled the plug I knew I was doing the 100% right thing.

So we’ve given our notice. We had a plan and a back-up plan but both those fell through. So we stayed on here a little bit longer than we probably should’ve. Thus, bringing us to the exciting decision to continue being barnraised…on our own terms.

We are under contract right now on our own facility. Let’s hope it all works out. It will be a smaller scale than what I’ve been managing here. Which is not a bad thing. And it will be on my terms. A beautiful, healing, friendly place that honors others and honors the horses that live and work for me. A place that holds respect and beauty. A place that is grateful for kindness and says no to dishonesty.

Writing Challenge: A moment that took my breath away

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wide open spacesTonya over at Fourth Generation Farmgirl hit me up with this writing challenge. Please check her blog out if you haven’t already. It is a fun and beautiful blog! This challenge spoke to me and looked fun, so here we go:

A moment that took my breath away. I just had one yesterday. As a matter of fact.

I volunteer at a facility for “riders with disabilities”. I help teach one day a week. I have a class of five children with varying disabilities (I like to call them alter-abilities). Anyways, my daughter and I do a lot of volunteer work at this riding center. We cross paths daily with all sorts of amazing people. Some may qualify for riding for physical disabilites, some for developmental, mental or otherwise disabilities. There is a large scope of people there. Well, anyways…my weekly class and the five kids in it had a party this week to celebrate the end of the riding session. Pizza and fun.

The moment that my breath was taken away was when my daughter, who is technically a “volunteer” (she goes and helps with cleaning stalls and little chores while I’m in the arena). Well, she sat down at the round table with my five students and she ate pizza, laughed, played, teased, helped and loved everyone of them. As if there was NOTHING DIFFERENT AT ALL ABOUT THEM. I realized in that moment, that there really was NOTHING DIFFERENT ABOUT THEM. And her little soul simply knew that. They were simply kids, she was simply with friends, and she was simply having fun at a party.

I saw, in that moment, all that was right in the world. That my daughter didn’t see the “differences”. That I had raised her in a world that didn’t see the “differences”. And that all of these beautiful six children blended into a group of fun and happy kids. Period. It was beautiful. It gave me hope for the world. It reminded me of what’s important. It reminded me that we are all one. We are all in this together.

It took my breath away.