Room to make a big mistake

wide open spaces

“She needs wide open spaces, room to make a big mistake”. Dixie Chicks, my friends. Remember? I loved that song. Still do. And these photos I snapped the other day during a bit of a storm reminded me of the lyrics. When I made the decision to move my family into the barn here at the stables, many people were skeptical. Even told me not to do it. I couldn’t fathom why anyone would criticize an opportunity for such an experience. It wasn’t as if I was going away to prison. Or signing my life away. I wasn’t joining the military. Or leaving for a third world country. It’s a barn for crying out loud. It was an opportunity that presented itself so perfectly and with such possibility that I couldn’t pass it up. I knew there would be challenges. I did my usual pros and cons list that I rely so heavily on. I’m not great at decision making. Hard work, yes. Commitment, yes. Changes in life and routines, yes. And adventure that many wouldn’t ever see and memory making….YES! I feel like this has always been who I am at heart. I have jumped on adventure. I have lived all over the world…in England, in Ireland, in Japan and had many unique jobs and experiences. One day, going on around three years ago, I sat down and wrote an “intention letter” assignment for a class I was taking at a spiritual center. I realized that what I would like to see back in my life was adventure. I had settled down, married, had a child and found myself living in this current small town for several years now. I was afraid that I might get “stuck”. But I was also so very happy “stuck” here and raising my family. I longed for something new, challenging and adventurous that could still coincide with my settling down-happy-little-family life. Moving away, traveling, taking a job in another country just didn’t seem to fit anymore. I felt happy. Our business was thriving and growing. My daughter had solid friendships. We loved our spiritual community. Leaving such great things didn’t seem to fit. An adventure still did. It was less two years after writing this letter that I was invited here.

wide open spaces 2

To live, work and play. To dream. And to give my daughter an adventure to remember. “Room to make a big mistake”!!!

wide open spaces 3As I have passed our one year anniversary here, I remember those nay-sayers, the negativity that some projected, the caution that I even had going into this. But, what really stands out in my memory is the realization that life gives you what you need when you need it, if you let go and just accept you can have and do incredible things, to live life with passion, grace and a sense of adventure, to give yourself room to make a big mistake without letting the fear of a “mistake” guide you away from an adventure, a dream, something fun. Nothing is forever. Jump in head first, swim in the opportunity to learn, be and do something great. Enjoy. And, if it isn’t exactly perfect, you can always head for that next adventure. Enjoy it while it lasts. And, then set your next intentions. The freedom sometimes is in knowing you create your reality, your happiness, your place in this life-however it may show up. Cheers to that!

Dream big

Blog 26
I was reading this interview today that Oprah did with Paulo Coelho, the author. It struck a deep chord with me. Not only because I love this writer’s works, but he spoke so casually in this interview in words that jumped out at me. He spoke of not just “following your dreams” but of the belief that we are all here with a “purpose”. We may not know what that purpose is just yet, and it may take a while to discover it, in fact he even speaks the scary truth that some of us may never find our purpose (nooooo!). He conveys that we all have a purpose here and if we just “fight the good fight” and continue on in the direction we feel pulled (not pushed) that we will discover ourselves. He says that we must persevere, never accept no, create our own destiny and, at the same time, let go. I have been working on my share of “letting go”. While many of his words ring true in an ideal world, I do get discouraged. I do wonder where this is all going in the end. I do think (sometimes in a quiet corner of my mind) about giving it all up and just living an easy, quiet life. When the tests come, when the stress rears its head, when the boundaries are being crossed again and again I often find myself wondering why I’m doing this. And then I sit and breathe. I try to work on the fine art of how to “let go”. Letting go is the hardest thing, I think. We can “fight the good fight”, persevere, never give in, put in the sweat and the heart….and so on. But, as of late, I honestly find the “letting go” part to be the absolute hardest. When building a dream, we want to build and build and never let up. If we stop to breathe, we might possibly remember that, while we have power, we are not necessarily “in charge” and we have to let go to let our purpose be. I am reminded of a quote that has taken me through some challenging times, “Don’t try to force anything. Let life be a deep let go. See millions of flower buds opening every day without the forcing of a single bud”. It is easy sometimes to sit here in the evenings and wax poetic and positive. Yes. That’s how I process. It is absolutely the hardest thing that I have yet to face in my time on Earth to understand how to “let go” and let my purpose be. I am reminded of something Mitch Albom wrote in “Tuesdays with Morrie”….”Don’t let go too soon, but don’t hang on too long”. It is so hard to find that balance between going for your dream and letting go at the same time. A combination of both somehow must be the answer. The equation to get to that answer? That’s the million dollar question my friends.