Horses are so good

Sierra

This writing rang so true with me. I want to give credit where it is absolutely due. This was written by Julia Everheart whom I have tried to contact and just can’t. I really need to share it though, so thank you Miss Everheart:

Most little girls go through a horse-crazy phase at some point in their adolesence. There are several theories as to why this is; the most famous is the Freudian theory about little girl’s repressed desires and need to master something powerful to make up for their inherent weakness. Hogwash, I say, but anyway, whatever the reason little girls love horses, it’s good for the girls and good for the horses!

Most women can remember clear as day the first time they sat on a horse. Maybe it was an old, arthritic pony not suitable for anything more than the occasional lead line ride. Maybe it was, as in the case of my mom, a hot Thoroughbred racehorse whose trainers were insane to put an 8 year old on its back. Whatever the scenario, it is a memorable experience because it is markedly different than, well, anything. Horses are big and they offer a whole new view of the world. A little girl all of a sudden gets a lot taller when she’s hoisted onto a horse’s back. This feeling, along with the feeling of going faster than she could on her own two legs, is very addictive.

Once a little girl gets a taste of riding, she is likely to want more. If you’re a parent reading this, I advise you to cough up the cash for some riding lessons. I can almost guarantee you won’t regret it. The first reason is simple- confidence. When your six year old can get on an animal that outweighs her ten times, make the animal walk, trot and canter quietly, and maybe even convince it to jump over something, all the while making it look effortless, she will really have accomplished something! Horseback riding, like most athletic activities, is much harder than it looks. What you don’t see as the observer is how much muscle control, strength and balance goes into even the simplest of manouvers. Horses don’t naturally move in straight lines and perfect circles. They don’t naturally lower their heads and trot prettily around an arena. Your kid is making all of that happen. As your little girl continues to advance as a rider, you will see her confidence grow. Riding is HARD and your kid can do it!

I have seen many a timid and shy girl blossom into a confident, outspoken and capable little lady simply by hanging out with horses and learning to ride. When a child rides, they may be able to get away with being a passenger at first, but soon they will have to take charge. There are many naughty ponies to thank for timid little girls learning to quite literally take the reins and take control. In the horse/human relationship, the rider is dominant and has to be for her own safety. Riding teaches kids to lead, to make quick decisions and to trust their instincts. Your kid may think she’s taking a riding lesson, but really she’s taking a lesson in life.

Horses also teach responsibility. If you haven’t noticed, they’re alive and have numerous needs. They’re a bit like very large, very heavy toddlers- they poop a lot and make a mess when they eat. Horses require hard labor- mucking stalls, hauling water buckets, unloading hay, cleaning tack, repairing fences, cleaning the barn, and the list goes on. All of these chores have to be done on a daily basis. Kids who are involved with horses learn to work hard and take pride in their work- another valuable lesson for life!

In a society where girls are taught that their value lies in how they LOOK, horses teach little girls to place value on what they can DO. Would you rather your pre-teen spend her afternoon wandering around the mall looking for a push-up bra or master an automatic release as she flies over a three foot jump on horseback? Which do you think will instill tenacity, perseverance and confidence in her ability to set goals and reach them?

Horses will also turn your little girl into a tough cookie. Horses are big, and when you fall off them, it hurts. The important thing is to get right back on. Undoubtedly, everyone who rides will fall off at some point and if they love the sport, they will haul themselves right back on and give it another try. There is little time for tears and pity parties.The only way to get better is to get back on.

As little girls grow into teenagers, having horses around can be especially helpful. Your teenage daughter can’t get wasted at her friend’s party because she has to be up at 5 a.m. to trailer to a show. She certainly can’t get pregnant, because everyone knows doctors frown on pregnant ladies trying to ride. If her boyfriend dumps her, so what? Her horse is cuter anyway. Horses give teenage girls something to think about beside boys, parties and all the myriad superficial things our consumer society is selling.

I am convinced that horses give back far more than they cost in ways that are immeasurable and priceless. Many families have made sacrifices so that their kids could ride, show or own horses. The time and money spent on these endeavors has a return that will stretch into the child’s teen and adult years. Simply put, horses are good for girls.

Sierra 2

As a personal note, I’d add that horses are just good for people in general. Especially, children. We have been through so many life lessons with horses. Bullying, confidence, assertiveness, responsibility, what hard work feels like, what reward at the end of that hard work feels like, I could go on..and I could write an entire post on each of these “life lesson” topics but I will spare you (you’re welcome…). In a nutshell, we’re on the right path I think. With great teachers in our equines!

Nine months

No hands!
I just spent the last hour or so going through pictures so I could send some special ones off to be developed. It’s the end of the year and time, I figured, to catch up on all of that.  Get current on scrapbooks and get some holiday gift pics ready to frame and put in the mail. I really wasn’t expecting so much inspiration to come from this simple and tedious task. Looking back at early pictures of our days here, I am actually quite (and pleasantly) surprised to see the changes in my daughter, my family, myself, our horses. It has been exactly nine months today since we uprooted our lives and moved in here to the horse boarding/training and trail riding stables. In some ways it still feels so new, like we moved in yesterday. And in some ways it feels so old, like we’ve been here forever. I found myself pausing to think over these past months. The people, the horses, the growth, the huge leaps in learning, and the hard times. It has not all been slow and easy, no it hasn’t. As much as I would like to display that here, it wouldn’t be honest. It has been slow and hard going much of the time. In more ways than one. Then…I look at this picture I recently took of my little girl. My goodness. She went from a 5 year old traumatized rider from her first “FALL” to a girl riding confidently on a sweet old man named “Jack”, to being bucked off that sweet (but grumpy) old Jack. THEN, we moved in here. She persisted forward with a new fear of knowing the scare and pain of a buck. She perserved on with Jack and a couple more horses. “Loosen your reins!” became my mantra and tighten them up further became her response. Then she got her lovely Arabian dream “Romance”. And, she proceeded to pull the you know what out of her mouth with tight reins and grasping the saddle and pure fear. Well, wouldn’t you know it but that lovely Romance RAN AWAY WITH HER in the round pen –first ride. Anyone out there working with lessons kids….you hear me. Nevermind the fact that she’s my own kid as well! We went downhill emotionally so far and so fast, I thought this little baby girl was never coming back up for some manure sweet air. Low and behold, she wanted more. I have never made her ride, she would come to me every morning begging to ride even while being scared to death to do it. So began the saga of little girl traumatized three too many times on three horses and mama teacher who (because of being mama) she just didn’t really respect. All she had to do was cry and say “Im scared” and what was one mama to do, really? Ok, “off you go”. Well, once, twice, three times, okay. BUT…there comes a time when….we just really need to RIDE. There were slow days of just groom her, tack up and walk her around the arena. Please. And, suddenly, with really no warning, my little girl said “I trust her” and dropped her reins. Put her hands out in the air and said “look, ma, no hands”. There was a little more work here that I’m perhaps leaving out, including putting trotting poles in her horse’s stall (she was petrified of them). I questioned myself over whether that was really the nicest thing, but decided that it was okay. The poles would not attack her in the middle of the night (I promise) and what better way really to get comfortable with something than to SLEEP with it. There were days of just watching while my girl did nothing but sit on her horse with her body tense and reins tight not wanting to move but also not wanting to get off (once it was for 45 minutes!). Times of biting my tongue and just trying not to look! Friends and other boarders offered encouragement to her along the way. Mostly it’s just been a lot of patience, time and space knowing that she wants this so bad and it will just come into being when the time is right. She has the skills, she knows how to ride, and she has the passion. Just give her time to heal. Well, I think her time has come. Maybe not completely. It’s a long journey for everyone and really doesn’t have a finish line. But this cowgirl is certainly more than along her way I tell you.

Sweet, grumpy, old man Jack. This was my girl’s first real horse relationship and first real “cowgirl up” experience too. My how love hurts sometimes! Jack has also recently been one of her first “saying goodbye” and dealing with death experiences. Looking back at the words I wrote above, I see all the we learn and all that we become just by being around and working with horses. How horses can teach so many important life lessons amazes me.

This moment

Joining Soulemama.com in the tradition of “this moment”:

{this moment} ~ A Friday ritual. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you’re inspired to do the same, leave a link to your ‘moment’ in the comments for all to find and see.

Blog 23

Peace

Sunrise

It is often difficult to find peace when you live at a boarding, riding, training and trail riding facility where people are surrounding you constantly. It has been said that HORSE people are not usually “PEOPLE” people. I have found that to be very true. Living here, though, it’s a constant lesson of immersing ourselves with horses (which is so easy) AND getting used to all these people (which isn’t always so easy). We have the “early bird” boarders that tend to be retirees that want to show up first thing in the morning to clean their horses stalls themselves. We have the working crew who show up after 5 pm and rush (or buzz as my little girl says) around like bees before it gets dark. We have the ladies that like to sit and drink coffee all day. We have the early morning riding lessons and horse training sessions. We have the 3 pm after-school rush of riding lessons. We have the homeschooling families that spend their days here. We have the lazy Saturday crowd that plays poker at the picnic table right outside of our front door. The farriers who come for coffee every morning. The casual Sunday boarders who come by after church. Oh, I could go on. Then we have the late Sunday night or early Monday morning delivery of hay of course. It is always (why, I don’t know) a  5 AM forklift fight. Stalling, re-starting, revving engine, stalling, REPEAT. I am awake now and it is Monday morning all over again.

It is times like today where I have to look deep within to find strength. And peace. Even the simple peace of a walk around the property with a flashlight at 11 PM because (usually) there will be quiet and stillness. Finding peace in a 2 AM colicing horse check. Finding peace in the early morning fall chill feedings that keep this place quiet just a little later. Finding peace in the little overgrown niche back behind the round pen where no one really ever ventures. Finding peace in hanging a little swing there for my daughter to escape to. Finding peace in this early morning sunrise scene that I captured before the busy-ness began. Thank you for these oh-so-rare (and oh-so-worth-it) moments of peace.

 

Exhaustion

Living at the stables

Have I mentioned what hard work this can be here? Exhaustion. Absolute and complete exhaustion. I have never known this kind of tired before. I feel it in my bones, my muscles, my mind and my emotional tolerance threshold. I have certainly worked hard before in my life and have always been a very busy type of personality. However, now that I live in this stable of 50 plus horses as well as homeschool my daughter, this level of busy has upped it’s ante on me. I thought I had slowed down my lifestyle to come here and live in this environment. I left the world of chaos, materialism and superficiality behind to leave the city life and live here experiencing this “slower paced” way of life. I wanted myself and my family to know and live differently. In some ways, yes, life has slowed down. Slowed to remember what’s really important. Slowed to show me a brilliant neon pink sunrise while the crisp early fall air hits my face. Slowed to watch birds nest and peek back into those nests each day to see when the eggs hatch and admire the tiny baby birds. Slowed to the satisfying feeling of dirt on your face, hay in your hair and real sweat on your forehead. Slowed to the basics of life and nature. Horses show you how to slow down. Food, water, shelter. Then it’s all okay. And, when you are stressed out or hurried, they will definetly let you know and ask you to look inside yourself by acting up. The horses are constant reminders to slow down. But what full days we have here! Sunrise to sundown, and then more. I am finding it hard to keep up on the little things. Any suggestions for time management? We rise with the sun to feed, check waters, clean stalls, ride and exercise the ones that we are responsible for, homeschool somewhere in and out of there (math, reading, art…), teach a couple of riding lessons, run my daughter to her handwork (knitting) class, stop at the post office, back home, answer questions for people stopping by asking about trail rides, help a boarder fit their new saddle, casual boarder conversation about the weather, sell a few bales of alfalfa (got to run around to find change!) dinner, showers, read to my little girl, tuck her into bed, sweep out the barn, check on the horses, dump the trash, check the calendar for tomorrow. Then I find it’s 10:00 at night and I haven’t yet done the dishes, picked up the house, finished the load of laundry that sat in the washer all day and now smells too mildewy to put in the dryer and fold. Also, I do enjoy the time for myself to post a tidbit or two here on this blog. Oh, and prepare our schooling lesson for tomorrow. Off to bed about midnight. Read some, fall asleep and up again at sunrise to feed. It is an exhausting and very full life here. We are just still trying to find our rhythm. It is a satisfying exhaustion at the end of the day though and I know we will figure it all out eventually.

Coming home

20140903_141406

To return from vacation and, when you pull back down onto your little, bumpy dirt road to home, suddenly think “this is better” is a beautiful thing. It is so good to be home. Vacation and travel is adventurous fun of course. It is beautiful to reconnect with family. Great-grandparents, second cousins, long lost aunts and uncles. The family ties re-bind, the humidity of the tropics nourishes, the salty ocean waves crash and breathe in life. Oh, but the feeling of returning home. It is a great thing, I have come to know. I am grateful for that feeling because not all feel that way. As my little girl sums it up, she is “so happy to be home with the horses and NEVER wants to leave again”! I love her ability to appreciate what she has and all that surrounds her everyday. It is contentment and fulfillment in our daily lives that nourishes us and I must remember now and then to stop and soak that in.

Sahe on beach20140904_144544

Left behind

Left behind boots
Left behind boots. That was my first clue. Walking down to my horses stall, I came upon these left behind boots. I thought they were worthy of a shot. So I took one. Only to find out, as my morning progresses that two or three of our “resident cowgirls” had decided to forego their boots and (for some reason) head off on their horses barefoot and free. “Natural Horsemanship”…..? I think it could qualify. These girls! My first thought was (I will admit) how UNSAFE! And, my second thought was how BEAUTIFUL. I do remember those carefree days and I wish them upon my daughter. No matter how I may worry and fret, I want my daughter to know carefree, bareback, barefoot days on horseback that nearly no mom would approve of. As my little one grows, I have to remember there will be times to turn the “blind eye”. But it will be in honor of who she is and the freedom she seeks. It could be worse, believe me, it could be worse. Here’s to freedom, bravery and childhood. I wish to bring some of it back into my own life!

Cowgirls

Blog 15
Cowgirls. We are not always who you think we should be. And we are always who we are. Take it or leave it. We are not the average girls and we’re not saying we are anything extra special either. We are amazing everyday in the quiet brimming under the excitement. Here’s to my little girl, Sahalie. For all of who she is. I am so thankful for her and the ways she reminds me that everything is okay. She reminds me to stop worrying. She reminds me to look up at the beautiful sunrise. She reminds me to not get stuck in the details. “Don’t let the details ruin the whole big fun”….That is her favorite saying. Did I mention she is only seven years old? Seven years on this Earth, but so much older and so much wiser than I know. In many ways, I am here having this adventure for her. When it feels like really hard work and I desperately miss my privacy and old life I remind myself of what she gets to experience. What little girl’s dream wouldn’t involve living in a barn and running a stable? She loves these horses as much as I do, only she remembers to be grateful and excited for the experience and opportunity to love. Even though we homeschool and I am the “teacher”, it is she that teaches me every single day. Thank you, Sahalie.

Courage

Blog 6

I ended up buying a horse that changed my life. Literally. He was a challenge and many times did I think about giving up. But I didn’t, I couldn’t. I’m a gluten for punishment and apparently, I have been told, I sought out this challenge as a reflection of my own insecurities. Even though, all I said I wanted was an easy, fun trail horse. I guess we just are who we are even if we try to be better. But the lesson in this, is that’s not necessarily always a bad thing. We face head on who we are and then we see why and where we may want to change. Then we have the free will to make that change if we wish, if we are willing to do the work. If we are willing to look at our messiness. My sweet boy, what a challenge he was. He taught me self confidence, assertiveness, focus, to STOP caring about what others think and say, to forge my own path and believe without worrying what the outcome may be. Because it was just he and I in the end, making it or not. In more ways than one, because I have the on-going neck pain from this path! Dare I say, a HORSE changed my life. Yes, I say it. A horse greatly changed my life. Today, he is my best friend and we are getting along beautifully. Still a challenging moment here or there, but really no worries. The therapeutic value of horses is so hard to put into words. And, Im not one of those “airy fairy” types that believes in Tao type deep energy connections. And, I don’t not believe in it either. It’s just not totally and completely “me” to go there. I will say my truth though, and that’s that there is indeed therapeutic value to horses in so many ways. A creature who can quite literally feel your feelings, hear your heartbeat and smell your fear. A horse will synchronize to your heartbeat, breathing and emotions. This may sound deep, but as Monty Roberts teaches, it’s nature. Horses are herd animals, looking for a leader. It is a survival technique for them to synch with the herd. When the herd leader becomes frightened of something, a predator say, it is the immediate syncing of the herd that alerts and saves them. Take a horse out of the wild, and, well they still need a leader. If that’s you, then they sync to you. Be afraid, they smell fear. Increased heartbeat, faster breathing? They sync to you sending their heart rate and breathing up. Keep yourself calm (even in the midst of fear or nervousness) and you can keep your horse calm. Breathe deep, focus, visualize and your horse will come with you. As John Wayne says “Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyways”.