children

Kindness

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Moment hike

“Be kind-everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle”.

Annie at the Gentle Kindness Blog recently wrote this post which reminded me immediately of an incident in my life. I felt inspired to share it here even though it may be “off topic” of my usual blogging. But this blog tends to get “off topic” so…

A little story about how we never know what someone is facing in their life, what their battle is, what they are on their way to face.

My story, I’ll try to make it quick. Many years ago, my mom passed away unexpectedly, shocking, horrifying. I flew home for the funeral. I was in a state of shock and terribly grieving. I was literally DRIVING TO THE FUNERAL. I made a minor mistake driving and sat through a green light too long. The person behind me, literally, road raged on me. Got out of his car and started yelling at me. I couldn’t believe it. I got out of my car and started screaming like a mad woman in the middle of the street that “my mom just died and I’m on my way to her #@%# funeral, you #@!& (jerk)!”. I was screaming and crying and shocked that someone could road rage like that. Something so small (missing a traffic light) versus something so big (grasping the death of my mom). I don’t remember a whole lot more of the incident as I was in a daze and a rage myself. I just know that after getting back in my car and pulling into a parking lot to cool down…that -THAT MAN-he did not follow me, he drove on, on with his day, on with his life… and I hope he thinks twice the next time he wants to be mean, unforgiving and cruel to someone. “You never know the battle they are facing”. You never know if they are on their way to their mom’s funeral. Thank you to Gentle Kindness Blog for reminding me of this powerful incident in my life. I wish to try to live my life always telling myself that I never know where “that person” is driving to, who they may have lost in their life, where their grief may be, what “battle they may be facing” and I will hopefully remember to show strangers grace as I cross their paths in this world.

Sabbathing

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Sabbath

“Sabbath:  Finding Rest, Renewal, and Delight in Our Busy Lives” by Wayne Muller

So, DM over at his fabulous and inspiring blog heart to heart challenged me to a book review on one of my Good Read books.

I started to do my review. And just kept saving “draft” to come back to later. To be honest, I read this book a couple of years ago so, though it is one of my all-time favorites (which is why I list it in my top “good reads”), it is not fresh at the top of my mind.

#1. I will be reading this book again, to refresh and remember what I learned about “sabbathing”. It is so easy to find ourselves busy, busy again. The reminder never hurts.

#2. “Sabbath” sounds very religious. Trust me, this book is not. It is spiritual and it is beautifully written. It is an homage to peace, space, quiet, family time, alone time, rest and renewal…as the title states. It is a great reminder.

#3. I find book reviews a bit dry. Especially when I click on the title and it links to 10,000 “reviews”. Which all say basically the same thing.

So…

I thought that I’d take this review and put my twist on it.

I heard a great talk at a spiritual center that I attend. The speaker mentioned this book which was how I came upon it. I had to read it after that. Library didn’t have it so I ordered it used. I think off Amazon. Years later, after reading this book, this is what I STILL do and this is how this book helped CHANGE my life and bring me more into the present and being more conscious.

TAKE A SABBATH MINUTE–I take a ten minute (or so) “sabbath” every day. My cell phone alarm is set to go off at 12:30 pm every…single…day. I call it my “sabbath alarm” or my “meditation alarm”. When it goes off, it reminds me to STOP, take a moment, breathe. I try to do a 5-10 minute quiet meditation or simple breathing and sitting still. I don’t stress about it though. At first, I started this and found that it sometimes stressed me out. I’m in the middle of something (!) and that damn sabbath alarm goes off. Now, I know when it goes off it just means -breathe-. So, if I am driving down the highway when I hear it, I may just simply slow down a bit and take four or five deep breaths, but continue on. EYES OPEN of course. If I am on a horse and hear it go off in my back pocket, I will breathe deeper and take a moment to look around at the gorgeous flowers blooming below that I hadn’t really noticed. Just that extra moment of coming into “the moment” and being. If, however, I am at home and able to take the 10 minutes, I will sit down for a break and do a mini-meditation. It is just a moment (be it a deep 5 second breath in the middle of chaos or a 10 minute sit-down meditation if I can)…it’s a moment to remember what’s important.

HAVE A SABBATH BOX–One other thing I took from this book that I still practice today is the “sabbath box”.  An area of our home (shelf on the side of the kitchen island) where the cell phones in the household go when everyone gets home for the evening. It’s not forever. It’s just for now. We can check them every so often if we need to. But it reminds us to set them aside and enjoy home, enjoy family. Not to have them on our hip or back pocket attached to us, which becomes such a habit. So easy to check, to grab, to look at. So easy that we don’t even realize the time spent if we added up the minutes. It becomes unconscious. Then, when I go to check my phone–it is a conscious thing. I can check any voicemails or respond to any texts and then it goes back in the sabbath box. So it becomes a conscious action that is kept to a particular time frame. Rather than on-going and seeping into every moment. When I play a board game with my daughter, I AM PLAYING A BOARD GAME WITH MY DAUGHTER. And she feels that too.

ONE DAY OFF ON YOUR TERMS–Sunday is a “sabbath day”. I’m not religious really. I call myself spiritual. I chose Sundays because that is simply the quietest day in my home and my life. I am not completely out of commission on Sundays. I just consciously try to keep those days schedule’s clear and quiet. Usually it is a day of staying home. My daughter and I ride our horses together almost every Sunday. I cook a nice dinner. I am VERY selective about accepting any invitations on a Sunday. I will if it is deemed truly important. But, otherwise I don’t schedule anything. I simply tell friends and others (including people who beg for riding lessons on Sundays because it’s their ONLY day off) that Sunday is family day in my home.

In conclusion, even though it’s been a couple of years since I read this book-you can see that many of the practices that the book encouraged me to adopt STILL live with me today. That tells you what a great and life-changing book this was for me. For anyone who is seeking just a touch more peace, quiet, spirituality or just a quiet sunset with a cold, uninterrupted beer in the midst of a crazy busy life, I definetly recommend giving this one a read. And, it’s a quick easy read too. Good for…..say, a “sabbath sunday”?

Nevada

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And…it’s a boy. Finally! This Mama Rescue…back story here…finally had her lil’ one. What a relief to all of us-mostly her, I’m sure!

Baby

Nevada is his name. No, I didn’t win the raffle, but I do love the name that was chosen. That is where Mamacita was rescued from. Fitting it is. And so cute he is. Look at those legs! Pardon the pictures. Mama didn’t want me too close, so I was respecting that and shooting from outside the pen. More to come. But for now, they can have their rest and peace. We will all sleep just a touch better.

Honor

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Spring

Acknowledging Earth day in a way that made me want to take a slower pace today

earth day

Finding ladybugs and making a habitat (for 24 hours), reading a beautiful book, creating flowers and then letting my daughter’s imagination and some extra paper create whatever comes to mind

this moment tree climb

Can you find the child hidden in this picture?

dish cloth

A finished basket weave dishcloth at the knitting group…done by my daughter. Just after I snapped the pic, she snatched it away and said that I’m “not allowed to see it again until Mother’s day”.

spring flower

So much to honor in this beautiful little day on our beautiful little earth

this moment

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Joining Amanda Soule at “Soulemama” in the tradition of “this moment”:

{this moment} ~ A Friday ritual. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment.

 

Room to make a big mistake

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wide open spaces

“She needs wide open spaces, room to make a big mistake”. Dixie Chicks, my friends. Remember? I loved that song. Still do. And these photos I snapped the other day during a bit of a storm reminded me of the lyrics. When I made the decision to move my family into the barn here at the stables, many people were skeptical. Even told me not to do it. I couldn’t fathom why anyone would criticize an opportunity for such an experience. It wasn’t as if I was going away to prison. Or signing my life away. I wasn’t joining the military. Or leaving for a third world country. It’s a barn for crying out loud. It was an opportunity that presented itself so perfectly and with such possibility that I couldn’t pass it up. I knew there would be challenges. I did my usual pros and cons list that I rely so heavily on. I’m not great at decision making. Hard work, yes. Commitment, yes. Changes in life and routines, yes. And adventure that many wouldn’t ever see and memory making….YES! I feel like this has always been who I am at heart. I have jumped on adventure. I have lived all over the world…in England, in Ireland, in Japan and had many unique jobs and experiences. One day, going on around three years ago, I sat down and wrote an “intention letter” assignment for a class I was taking at a spiritual center. I realized that what I would like to see back in my life was adventure. I had settled down, married, had a child and found myself living in this current small town for several years now. I was afraid that I might get “stuck”. But I was also so very happy “stuck” here and raising my family. I longed for something new, challenging and adventurous that could still coincide with my settling down-happy-little-family life. Moving away, traveling, taking a job in another country just didn’t seem to fit anymore. I felt happy. Our business was thriving and growing. My daughter had solid friendships. We loved our spiritual community. Leaving such great things didn’t seem to fit. An adventure still did. It was less two years after writing this letter that I was invited here.

wide open spaces 2

To live, work and play. To dream. And to give my daughter an adventure to remember. “Room to make a big mistake”!!!

wide open spaces 3As I have passed our one year anniversary here, I remember those nay-sayers, the negativity that some projected, the caution that I even had going into this. But, what really stands out in my memory is the realization that life gives you what you need when you need it, if you let go and just accept you can have and do incredible things, to live life with passion, grace and a sense of adventure, to give yourself room to make a big mistake without letting the fear of a “mistake” guide you away from an adventure, a dream, something fun. Nothing is forever. Jump in head first, swim in the opportunity to learn, be and do something great. Enjoy. And, if it isn’t exactly perfect, you can always head for that next adventure. Enjoy it while it lasts. And, then set your next intentions. The freedom sometimes is in knowing you create your reality, your happiness, your place in this life-however it may show up. Cheers to that!

Blessings

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May your horse...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life is really simple. If we let it be. Sometimes, we have to be active in letting it be. A simple and wise blessing that hangs upon the wall in our favorite little restaurant. Found it fitting for a “simple” post during a chaotic week.

Anticipation

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no baby

Well, now, I guess those “feed lots” don’t know as much as they lead you to believe. Why, oh why, am I surprised at this? And, what exactly does that say about me that I am surprised by their misguided information, if we want to get down to it? ANYWAYS, remember those rescues? Those wild horses? The pregnant mama that was due “any day now”. Yes, we are still waiting. Poor mamacita. She is so big and looks so ready to birth. Maybe she is nervous. Protective. And holding off. But it’s coming. My little girl asks every morning after I feed, “did she have the baby?” like a kid on Christmas morning asking if Santa came. Every morning, I head out to feed, feeling also like a child on that same Christmas morning. And then I see that she has not foaled. But is still healthy and happy. And I toss her just a bit more feed than I am “supposed” to. Hey, pregnancy is not easy. A little extra food is the LEAST I can do here.

RAFFLE

 

So…since we have to pass the time here. And the anticipation is killing us. We have the “guess the birthdate raffle” extravaganza. Dollar for a guess. Just sign your name on the square, drop your dollar in the lovely re-purposed psyllium bucket. Winner gets the money pot and names the baby! When is baby coming??? I’d rather bet my dollar that she is healthy, happy and comfortable in this process. But, in the meantime, we can have some fun, right?

no baby 2

Oh, sweet mama. And soon-to-be-baby. You were both destined to slaughter. But rescued. While your future is still so unknown, as all of ours are, we gaze upon you with grace and love everyday knowing that you both will know a better future. No matter the time it takes. Nothing can be rushed. Thank you for teaching us this.

the other side of fear

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“Everything you want is on the other side of fear”    –unknown

Romance

I was teaching a “saddle club” group lesson the other day with my teaching partner, a lovely lady who is passionate about teaching “riding lessons”. She does not, however, have the background I have in working with children, children with special needs and in the counseling/social work field. She has a 1:1 student-we’ll call her Jane-who also participates in our weekly girl’s group “Saddle Club” riding and education class. My partner has expressed to me frustration in teaching Jane. You see Jane is ten years old, but presents as somewhat slow, unfocused and doesn’t seem to progress in riding skills. During the group lesson, Jane was having difficulty and really holding up the class. She was on a new horse, and could not even get the horse to MOVE. My partner expressed quietly to me that she was increasingly frustrated with Jane and simply losing patience…she expressed that she doesn’t know how to “get through to this girl”. I suggested that we split the group and one of us could take Jane individually so the others would be allowed to continue on with the group lesson. I told my partner that if she wanted I would be willing to work one-on-one with Jane today. She said “yes, please!”. I took Jane to the far end of the arena and started working with her. After some time I picked up on some patterns she was displaying. And I picked up on some tension in her body. I picked up on her fear. I asked her about it and she expressed that she was terrified. So we broke it down, took it literally ONE step at a time. I did some focus excersices with her that I do with my riders who have special needs and/or fear trauma issues. I find it really brings them into the moment, gives them a focus and reduces the anxiety build up. Jane then began to relax and by the end of our time together she was circling her horse around a barrel and back to me, over and over. Thus-as I pointed out to her-showing her that she has control and knows what to do, even beyond her fear. With intention, her horse will respond. It was an amazing 20 minutes. Later, my partner expressed to me that she wishes she had my patience. And that she feels like the parents are “wasting their money” on lessons. I responded back that, perhaps she was looking at this wrong. No, it’s not a “waste”. My partner is focused on “riding lessons”. She wants to see Jane progress in her RIDING. Sometimes, I told her, when I have a child like Jane who has some special needs (in this case, fear), I realign my intention-this is where I firmly believe that riding is therapy. Ok, I do have my “regular” riding lessons. And, yes, I enjoy seeing my girls win their ribbons at shows. My passion, though, is with the deeper stuff. What Jane can do and learn through horseback riding is priceless and worth far more than those ribbons. She is an extremely timid, shy, insecure girl. I suspect, but don’t know (and won’t address because she isn’t my student) that there may be some disability (alter-ability) such as mild Autism or something developmental. Jane is gaining so much more from this experience than my girls who bring home the ribbons are. I promise you that. Strength, focus, confidence, assertiveness, perserverence…. Just getting up on a horse for her is more brave and amazing than you can imagine. AND this is a form of therapy that she LOVES to go to and participate in. Do you know how many kids tell me they hate going to therapy??? So boring! And, all while they sit on the back of a horse in my therapy (office) arena. It really is a beautiful thing.

“Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyways”….John Wayne